Holiday, I didn't feel it..?

hola peeps!

After done the FYP 1 and the three weeks of final exam, I am officially on holiday right now. 

How about you?

peeps, I am alone right now, since all of my house-mates might be sleeping comfortably on their own bedroom right now but me. I didn't back home the day after my last exam's paper because I was waiting for someone but in the end, that someone couldn't make it. It wasn't that someone false, can be avoided ( so no hard feeling for me ). It wasn't because I have something to do here ( except the laboratory task/ final year project's experiment ), and I don't have any single reason to not going home for this 1month term break. It is simply because, I didn't have any feeling to going home, I do miss my family but still I don't feel like want to back home. Stupid me isn't? 

Peeps, do you ever feel like me? I really can't understand myself either. Flashback again, I was a person who can't be separated from my family~my mum, my dad, my siblings & friends~ but I thought, it was on that day, the day that I'd made a promise to not be a crying-girl instead trying to be a grown up person. Since then, I changed a lot. "A lot". Hence,I turn to be a tough person.

I am still wandering right now if should I just go home or not. I don't know. My mum keeps on calling me, and ask me when will I go home. I love my mum so much, soOoO much! But still, my heart feels like don't want to go home. It is 3am already, and the luggage bag was still widely opened, waiting to be packed by my stuffs. Back home, no, back home, no, back home, no? Arghhhh I really don't know. I don't really like my fake folks' faces. Owhh, I know who really are they but still, they behave like  'angel'?NO, a big NO from me. Is it really because of that? Hmmm, not really. Or is it because I still can't really forgive my father? No, yes, no? Or is it because, I don't like at home because I got nobody at home (since, I am the youngest one, the last unmarried)? what happen to me exactly???

I don't have any feeling for holiday!

Hmmmm, I guess I need to sleep now, I am full with "I don't know" right now, and I kinda exhausted from these feelings. 

Btw, happy holiday peeps. Make sure you don't have any feeling like me.