Holiday, I didn't feel it..?

hola peeps!

After done the FYP 1 and the three weeks of final exam, I am officially on holiday right now. 

How about you?

peeps, I am alone right now, since all of my house-mates might be sleeping comfortably on their own bedroom right now but me. I didn't back home the day after my last exam's paper because I was waiting for someone but in the end, that someone couldn't make it. It wasn't that someone false, can be avoided ( so no hard feeling for me ). It wasn't because I have something to do here ( except the laboratory task/ final year project's experiment ), and I don't have any single reason to not going home for this 1month term break. It is simply because, I didn't have any feeling to going home, I do miss my family but still I don't feel like want to back home. Stupid me isn't? 

Peeps, do you ever feel like me? I really can't understand myself either. Flashback again, I was a person who can't be separated from my family~my mum, my dad, my siblings & friends~ but I thought, it was on that day, the day that I'd made a promise to not be a crying-girl instead trying to be a grown up person. Since then, I changed a lot. "A lot". Hence,I turn to be a tough person.

I am still wandering right now if should I just go home or not. I don't know. My mum keeps on calling me, and ask me when will I go home. I love my mum so much, soOoO much! But still, my heart feels like don't want to go home. It is 3am already, and the luggage bag was still widely opened, waiting to be packed by my stuffs. Back home, no, back home, no, back home, no? Arghhhh I really don't know. I don't really like my fake folks' faces. Owhh, I know who really are they but still, they behave like  'angel'?NO, a big NO from me. Is it really because of that? Hmmm, not really. Or is it because I still can't really forgive my father? No, yes, no? Or is it because, I don't like at home because I got nobody at home (since, I am the youngest one, the last unmarried)? what happen to me exactly???

I don't have any feeling for holiday!

Hmmmm, I guess I need to sleep now, I am full with "I don't know" right now, and I kinda exhausted from these feelings. 

Btw, happy holiday peeps. Make sure you don't have any feeling like me.

Uudan or Wudamu ~ a little but talented boy

new version - wudamu

I don't know how to express my feelings toward this little but talented boy. ( China got talent show ). I found out about him from the facebook post of my friend. I love music so much, that is why I open and watch this in youtube (even though the line was so damned slow~blame digi line). Watching this, I couldn't stop the tears, I cried a lot! I confessed, I keep crying and crying until sunset. Since the moment I went to matriculation, in 2008, up until now in Universiti, 2012, I've done so many unnecessary things and I do made her sad. I didn't back home last Christmas Eve even though she called me so many time, I put someone else first before her, and ignored her the person that I should obey at first place. Stupid me, isn't it. This boy touched my heart, even though I didn't know his songs. I felt his sincere feeling in his song. 

To my mum, thanks I am also doing fine like others. I always makes you hurts, but you still always and always will be the one who support me all the time. God, thanks for giving me such an angel mum. To you I  promised, this year I'll do the best I could to make her happy. And to Your hand God, I pray from distant, please take care of my mum.

FYI, she (my mom) never scold me. Never hit me at all, and the one who teach me how to live in this world. Yups, it might be because I was the youngest child but, no one (my siblings) ever being hit by my mother. She never give negative words to us whenever the hardness and sorrow of failures haunts us, instead, she always says, 

" it is okay to fail, as long as you already done the best'est you could ". 

How positive she was. She might lost control sometime, but I knew the reason, and I never blame her for that for she was only a human just like us. And now I feels so xxx(don't know how to explain) for letting the years past without doing the best I could to make she happy as simple as calling her (for she, me calling her is the best thing ever happen to her). How primitive she is, isn't it? But, that was my mom, the one who love me no price, and the one who constantly supporting me all the time. I do, even just remembering her name, I feels encouraged. But, I never make any call to tell her this, and somehow I regret this attitude of mine. 

2012, please help me to be the good girl, good woman soon, great mom as she was, and be the one who makes her happy for her. (I prays this).

So peeps, don't waste your time like me!

take your time to make a call (even for a minute only) and tell her what you feel.

Because, someday she might gone just like Uudan's (Wudamu) mum. See, Wudamu love his mum!

Through his singing, the voice told me, he love her deceased mum so big, bigger than the ocean biggest than the universe.

We still have our time, for our mom still here today, still alive and love us unconditionally.

I LOVE YOU, MY GREAT MOM! 

one of my 2012 Resolutions/Aims. What is yours?

(Today's entry was written for Christians only)

holla peeps! 

it is SUNDAY(again) & let us be grateful for having this week (first week of 2012).

Since today was the last day of the first week of 2012, suddenly this title came across into my tot. Actually I didn't make any resolution or aim for this new year, 2012, when the clock past 12am (1st Jan 2012) as people usually do. I believe you already wished something in your life at that moment, not like me, isn't? Peeps, this was the first time in my life I failed to lists (in my brain) the aims/resolution for the coming new year. In fact, I am the "shouter" to remind people to makes their aims when the moment of 2012 cames, but not this year. I don't know why (if you ask me) but, I do have the resolutions/aims now (after attending today's Church service at SIB Alamesra Kota Kinabalu). Thanks to him who shared the great sharing about God's words.

What is yours?

Flashback again the past year of 2011, I do achieved my aims (Not all of it, I guess). But one thing that I failed is to be the "light of this World"! It was a great loss of me, let the year of 2011 past by without achieving this aim. I made this aim on my first minutes of the first day of 2011 but never complete it until the last minute of 2011. But, I never put an end to this aim! Never! (as long as my F&F support me) and of course, as HE will always and forever hold me. 

As He said,

"I will never leave you nor forsake you"~Hebrews 13:5

"I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you"~John 14:18

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, 

that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."~John 3:16

FYI, it wasn't made only for me, but it was also for you, for them, for us and for everyone whose believe in HIM. (Thanks God). 

It was for everyone, as HE stated,

And Jesus answering said unto them, 

They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. 

I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

~Luke 5:31-32

How great is our God! Awesome and forever the greatest!

Peeps, I wish I can achieve this aim this year (really). Please put a pray for me, as He always heard the people who pray in HIS name (thanks so much). 

Let us together put our aim into HIS hand as it is said,

Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.~Proverbs 16:3

For those who believe in HIM ( Christians only ), let us refresh our mind about what we should do, what HIS followers should do?

Be a Light in the World
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.~Matthew 5:16

Love Your Enemies
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;~Matthew 5:43-44

Do Unto Others
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.~Matthew 7:12

The Greatest Commandment: Love God and Your Neighbour
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.~Matthew 22:37-40

Be a Servant to Others
For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.~Mark 10:45

that is all for this first Sunday of 2012. Thanks for reading it until the end. HERE

Mode: Exam, Blog:Stuck!

holllla peeps!

Happy New Year to all of you (better late than never LOL).

actually, this entry will be the simplest entry ever (I guess), it wasn't because I don't have any story to share with all of you instead, I've got a lot of stories to tell since Christmas Eve and New Year Exchanged just done like yesterday (I tot + feels LOL).

I was stuck! cannot post any entries because my HP software went wrong. I don't know why, maybe because of the fishing game (so many F&F used my HP for games). 

No HP means NO pictures (for me, since I don't have camera).

So, I am still in waiting mode, to have the captured happy moment pictures from my bro in-law and friends.

FYI, for the first time in my life, I celebrated the Christmas Eve at other Church, far from my hometown, my family and celebrating the eve with others people. I cried ( it is true. You also know the feeling isn't?) 

My family keeps on calling me and asked "WHY".

Why I am not at home?

Why I didn't wish them?

and many more WHY and When & where.

I miss my family and home so much! So then, I decided to back home for 31st celebration.

I was so hapPPpy with my F&F and I tot, it is worth for me to be with them.

And guess what, we were having Open House ( simple, since that thing decided just after 10am on 31st ).

Done with cleaning the house, continued the works together with my sisters in the kitchen.

Ohya, we had a blast! party that night. Got fireworks (sponsored by my bro-in-law) and karaoke session until the sun rises. Crazy isn't? (But, I just stay awake until 3am LOL). 

1st Jan 2012: me and my friends went to Poring Hot Spring, Canopy walk in rainy season and celebrating the new year again in Kota Kinabalu. :)

Poor me, I don't have any single pic at this moment. I really wish I can share it with all of you but. 

OH NO!!! 2am dy! need to continue my revision (got my first exam paper tomorrow, wish me luck k).

Here are some of the new year wish for you:

It doesn’t matter what you did or didn’t do in 2011. You can begin again!
It doesn’t matter what you are or what you aren’t. You can begin again!
It doesn’t matter what you have or what you lack. You can begin again!
Don’t think, “It’s just another year”. No. It’s not.
It’s a New Year for a new beginning – new plans, new resources, new accomplishments

"HAPPY NEW YEAR"