To the Past & Back

peeps..

This entry was strictly solely belong and forever be mine. 

Any harsh words is strictly not allowed. Read if you want, but please respect my right. Thanks in advance.

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My great pal, you might be in a big " ? " right now while reading the title and the notice above but I told you, this blog is solely mine, _ online diary_ and no wonder if you keep on reading about my life's journey. As for today entry, I will write about this great gone-sister of mine.  FYI, this is the second time I write about my sister ( Click HERE ).   

please respect my right. Do not misuse this.
( Nina Stefhani )

Yups, that was she in this picture. It was taken few years back then. & that wasn't her daughter. The little one is simply my lovely niece so called, Erynn Esmeralda aka Lilo. Plus, she was just 17 years old at that time by the way. She was once I used to fight with the most, the one bullied by the arrogant and selfish me yet we had been once became a great partner as a sibling. I didn't bullied her for she was an easy target instead, she was the one who let herself bullied by me. Want to know why? Here I told you, because she was a great sister. A lovely sister & a concerned-sacrifice-herself sister whose let me do the things I love and wanted to do or used to. Huh I was so selfish and arrogant back then which was I regretted the most nowadays.

Yups, to gave excuse for myself~"I never know the feeling as a sister for I am the youngest one". The stupid thought that ever occurred in me. I never try to understand them, the feeling and responsibility as an elder sibling. Do not do this peeps! Do makes a good relationship with your siblings before the blue day comes around. To flashback the past again, that memories have had taught  and changed me a lot and created the 'me' nowadays. I still remembered how she had helped me doing the laundries things, cleaned my bedroom and smoothly but successfully brought me to the church. She was the one whose made me involved a lot in church services activities despite the chaos-haters team's members. I started as a tambourine dancer when she became the worship leader, and I was back-up singer whenever she became tambourine dancer. So, when she was gone I felts clueless and empty. I missed her so damned much, misses her services in church which at last made me prayed to have the courageous as she was. So here I am today, serves as worship leader, sunday school teacher and etc. Thanks sis!!

For my well-beings nowadays, she contributed in so many ways. I passed SPM and PMR, to the matriculation then University (now), I just simply encouraged by her wisdom as stated below:

Kenal diri + Hormat diri + Percaya diri = Hidup dlm Kekuasaan.

Trying to understand myself, to respect myself, and to trust myself~ I want to win my own life. I want to finish what she had once started  ( I read her diary ) before, and above all was because I love her so much. Huh, if only she was still alive today, we might be a great partner doing nothing but living. RIP sis. 

Do you have any someone you cares that had "pass away"? If not, you might don't know the meaning of this entry. I didn't expect for you to understand, and yeah, everyone had their own thoughts isn't it ^___^. 

opsss, I myself actually don't know what I'd wrote in here lol. so, let me concluded this entry as ' a feeling to my gone sister '. An entry taken from a piece in a book, the book about my very own life. So peeps, love and hold the persons as they were still here beside us and do not regret any after they have pass away someday. Do it right, love them enough, told them clearly and lives happily like no tomorrow. 

Live the life to the fullest peeps!!

bye