~F.O.R.G.I.V.E.N.E.S.S~

Alohaa!!

Forgiveness
Do you ever encounter this part to-forgive or to-be-forgiven?

Actually, today’s entry written as a continued part from the entry of Kerana wang Keluarga Binasa and SHE will marry soon. I do wrote and told you about my thought, my heart condition and the thing with big "?" of should-I-go-to-her-wedding-ceremony? By considering the hurts and pain they had done to my family. I've written the reason and my feeling was just like "how can I forgive when it hurts so much?".

"Forgiveness always seems so easy, when we need it, and so hard when we need to give it." 

--Fresh Start Devotionals

Do you ever felt like this?

FYI, I can't sleep last night, keep thinking all through the night about "forgiveness", because it is totally obvious that if I can forgive, I can forget then in the end, I can go and enjoy the wedding ceremony as much as I ever imagined before. The dawn end with the sunrises. Morning with the bright sunshine, somehow succeed in creating a warm mood for me (but still, the forgiveness-thing was still in the air). Guys, you might don't know this, but truthfully- the 2hours driving can't even heal the wound of my heart-forgive them?NO!

But, Thanks to GOD, the mission is completed!

want to know how and why? just proceed reading my entry below here.

The moment I stepped into her canopy, I felt little nervous and strangely, I do also felt "relieved". I came, met the king and queen of the day (not forget to mention you, she was so beautiful~gorgeous!), and as the time past, me myself slowly adapted into that situation, I felt the wound in my heart stopped! And I do feels the healing, which calm me until the last minute there. OMG, one moment I felt angry/hurted/hatred but the next moment I felts calm/relieved/and just GREAT. 

Going to the wedding ceremony~I'd never thought if it's then became a plan became reality and more than success, it cured me! 

Going to the ceremony~"trying to forgive"~attending the ceremony~"Forgave my own-self"

You know what, there, a thought crossed my mind ~If you can ask forgiveness from God and then forgiven, then why us as the people can't do it? 

Isn't?

twilight pass, on going dawn, coming soon-sunrise...I continuously pray and rejoice HIS name for giving me this simple heart but awesome! fragile heart, though exhibit fullest curable. The first step~face the problem, isn't in vain. Initially, the word "forgive" isn't just to pleased the other, but it was a thing that we do, done for our own victory, the victory of forgiveness end with love in God. 

TO FORGIVE, IS NOT AN EASY THING TO DO.

but

FORGIVING, is the come first before TO-BE-FORGIVEN.

and

FORGIVE is the true, and the only one cure for ANGER

which

Enhanced with the additive, TIME.

More than that, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this "forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness—freedom.

FREEDOM from anger, FREEDOM from hatred, FREEDOM from envy, A VICTORY in FAITH.

Colossians 3:13 

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Matthew 6:14-16 

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Hebrews 8:12 

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

"After all, GOD had FORGAVE us in the first place"

S.H.E will Marry soon

Aloha

A real quick update.

I don't know how to explain myself, I really felts hurts by thier rudeness towards my family, but now I know, I really love them. I think, the whole shit that I wrote before this is because of my hurts/disappointment feeling towards them. I just feels hurt when they never thought as I and my family really love them. My cousin (the one who I mentioned in my entries of "kerana wang, keluarga binasa") will marry this coming November 26th. And I coulnd't resist myself to be happy thinking about her event!  Isn't it silly?? Deep inside my heart, I still pray for her happiness and may God bless their relationship as a spouse-to-be and let them shine under HIS LOVES. But still, I AM FEELING HURT! Because, the day that I ever share with her to conduct her wedding ceremony completely destroyed after the incident. I once had create hope with her to be a fully-commitment person who in-charge in her wedding, but now, I can't do it. I still can't forgive them! yet, I still really love them. This really burden me. Should I go? Shouldn't I? I don't know, how can I come to her wedding ceremony with this hurted heart? My sister ask me to go with her, as she said the money shouldn't destroyed the family relationship. I agreed. But somehow, their stupid mockings flashback in my lil brain and put me in deep sorrow. I LOVE MY FAMILY!! 

to my dear cousin, no matter what happen, you were still my cousin and always will be. I pray to God, may HIS blessing covers your life and everything will be fine. 

Happy wedding day.

Kerana Wang, Keluarga Binasa***(PART 2)

heartache create this entries!

quick update also..

continue to part 2...

My bro still bersabar dengan sikap this spouse, my uncle and aunt, they are still our family after all. But tiba-tibalah my bro kena malaria, and his wife kena operate! OMG, keadaan keluarga my bro time tu sangatlah kecian, my nephews lagilah kecian, terpakse berpisah dengan both their parents at the same time, bila both of them kena tahan d wad. SO, my bro pun minta tolonglah spya my uncle bayar wang pendahuluan dulu, but hanya separuh dari wang pendahuluan tu jak dibayar (my cousin might dont know about this, because she was always only believe in her father words). Tak salah, cuz dia mmg papa dia kan, but as an educated person, jangalah terlalu percaya membabi buta atas semua kata-kata parents dia kan. Kena dengar juga, kalo tak nak dengar comment family my brother, asks orang kampung. They know better the story. 

AND THEN, time my bro minta total payment untuk pendahuluan tu, this spouse suddenly hilang dari rumah pagi tu, rumah kosong keta pun xda. TUP3 nampak, this spouse go to Sandakan and cari new carpenter. TAK SALAH! but kena lunaskan dulu bayaran tu kan. Dan paling penting, jangan cakap semua kerja yang da disapkan oleh my bro tu salah, dan malukan my bro bukan setakat satu kampung bahkan kampung-kampung jiran pun dengar. I HATE IT!!!!! I REALLY HATE it when proved that my bro's works tak salah! But still they tak makan saman and cakap bukan2 dengan my cousin, the one who pay for the pembaikpulih and pembinaan rumah. 

tak cukup dengan masalah tak nak pay and bawa new worker tanpa perbincangan dahulu dengan pekerja asal, they still bawa nama my family dalam CHURCH. OMG, please don't overdo. Solute to my borther, still bersabar dan dengar pandangan kami untuk tunggu tindakan my cousin, ya la pasti dia akan bertindak wajar as she was an educated person after all. But, sangat menghampakan bila my cousin tu sanggup bertegang leher gaduh dengan my bro. Pada awalnya, my bro tak pernah paksa dorang pay 1x if dorang terus terang and minta lanjutan masa secara baik-baik (as a family), but no, bukan setakat kata-kata hinaan yang diberi, saman ugut pun dorang bagi pada my bro. And FYI, the court sendiri dah ckap yang dorang akan kalah if still maw teruskan saman dorang tu.......

untuk luahan selanjutnya, ikuti parts seterusnya..will be updated soon. 

Kerana Wang, Hubungan Kekeluargaan mjd Renggang*** (PART 1)

quick update!

Kalo uols nak tanya, betul or tak, sy akan jawab YES (utk certain orang yang sangat 'jaga' duit).

I really love my big family, my aunties/uncles/cousins/nephews/nieces/siblings, and our relationship is more than good before that little big tragedy. Bukan niat nak mengumpat my cousin kat cni but, sy sangat-sangat tertekan dengan keadaan family kami skrg ni. My family da cuba berbaik hati, bersabar dan tidak banyak bercakap but then they still ingat kami bodoh and dorang betul. NO, semua tu kerana me and my siblings bersabar atas nama keluarga. Kalo nak lawan, either by law or by mouth, my brother will still be the winner, because kami betul. 

ohya, lupa nak cter pla pa kes kan. The story begin like this,

pada mulanya hubungan kekeluargaan kami sangatlah baik, always have tea time together and saling membantu dalam banyak perkara. Ya lah, kan family. But one day, this uncle datang rumah and minta tolong dengan my bro buat rumah. At first, me and my entire family sangatlah TIDAK BERSETUJU untuk my bro buat rumah dorang, (reason: my cousin or his daughter buat loan dengan bank semata-mata untuk buat rumah, so lebih baik cari carpenter yang betul2 ada kelulusan kan), but this uncle balik-balik tanya and merayu. Uols tau jg kan, tak baik buat orang merayu-rayu dengan kita, len masa kita pun ada minta juga, so in conc mesti tolong menolong, SO my bro pun setuju lah buat rumah this uncle. 

Believe it or not, proses kerja tu sangatlah lambat sampai ladang kecil sawit my bro terbiar cuz kerja yang sepatutnya siap kejap jak jadi panjang/lama cuz sikap my uncle. Bukan niat nak bagi malu but, sy sangatlah sakit hati. My uncle akan beli peralatan rumah tu the same day my bro nak guna, and just after bergaduh dengan bini dia, my aunt. Ya Tuhan, lau nak buat rumah and expect nak cepat siap, please lah sediakan barang-barang yang diperlukan before keja-kerja pertukangan dimulakan kan? ni tak, my bro start keja jam730 am, paku 2/1/2 inci pun takde, amcm?????

untuk luahan selanjutnya, ikuti parts seterusnya..will be updated soon.